To-do: Control my emotions
At least half of my clients come in with a goal of controlling their emotions.
It makes sense; nobody enjoys the experience of sadness, anger, frustration, irritation, or grief. And most of us have a laundry list of what we do to supress, avoid, or redirect these emotions.
My clients also report experiencing additional layers of shame, frustration, and disappointment with themselves that they are reacting the way they are.
Does this sound familiar?
I spent many years in this place — navigating hard emotions by exercising them away at Crossfit; never creating room for them by filling every minute in my schedule; filling my head with distractions and noise like tv, podcasts, and audiobooks so that I wouldn't have to sit with my own thoughts and emotions.
After about ten years of deeply diving into psychology, self-compassion, mindfulness, and almost four years as a life coach, I've landed in a much different place of understanding.
Emotions are like the weather. You can't control when it's sunny, rainy, or when it hails golf balls. Especially if you are a Colorado-type person, you may have any kind of weather on any given day.
What IS in your control is how you relate to your emotions and the tools you use to navigate them skillfully. If the rain comes, having a tool like a rain jacket or an umbrella is helpful to weathering (ha) the storm effectively.
If you relate to this post and you are interested in gaining a few tools for your "emotional toolbox", I invite you to join my free, live workshop and Q&A "Master Your Emotions" on October 30. I'll be sharing some of my best tools of the trade when it comes to navigating human emotions more skillfully and answering your questions.
I'd love to see you there.